I was talking to Mr. Pancakes about cakes the other day and trying to drag an opinion out of him. As usual, I had about 15 tabs open on my browser, and I asked him to come take a look.

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This is the cake I showed him (which I happen to love).

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To my surprise (and horror), he said he hated cake stands. Well, his exact words were, “That cake is fine, but I don’t like that thing it’s on. Would it have to be like that?”

I kind of hate when this happens. I really wasn’t trying to trap him; I hadn’t even thought about the cake stand. I was really just trying to get his opinion on the cake, and the thing is, I adore vintage pedestal cake stands. They are so precious and really complete the image of my perfect wedding cake. Am I crazy? Are they weird??

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If we were having a huge 200-person wedding, I would not dream of putting that cake on a stand, but we’re not. We’re having a small, intimate wedding, and I think that a smaller cake deserves (needs) to be put on a pedestal so it can get the attention it deserves.

What do you think of vintage cake stands? How much thought have you put into what your cake will sit on?

This article was originally posted onWeddingbee.

[A Practical Wedding was an invaluable source of sanity and encouragement as I planned my wedding, and since Meg and I both live in the Bay Area, we get to have pizza together and gab about weddings and blogs in person. I heart you, Meg!]

If you’re reading this website, chances are very good that you’ve been called a bride for months and months. But here is a newsflash: you’re not a bride. Not yet, anyway.

For most of us, the liminal state of bride-dom lasts for about ten hours. It’s long enough to put on the dress, say the vows, transform yourself from a single person to part of a brand new family, and then party like it’s going out of style. And then it’s over, and that’s a good thing. So the question is, how do we take those ten hours and experience them to their fullest? How do we get what we need out of this liminal state, and move forward with minimal regrets and a lifetime of memories?

In short: you need to really show up emotionally, let go of all the planning you worked so hard on, and embrace imperfection.

That sounds gauzy and hippy-zen and impossible, right? Well, it’s really none of those things. So, without further ado, here are the things you should know about your wedding day that no one will ever tell you. (Except, um, I’m telling you, so you win.)

Your wedding day might not feel like you expect it to feel.

After reading tons of wedding magazines and zillions of wedding blogs, it’s hard not to have an idea of how your wedding day is going to feel. The thing is, that idea might be dead wrong.

First, I think we all hope our wedding day is going to feel pretty and chic. The one problem with this plan is that you can’t feel pretty, because pretty isn’t an emotion. Trouble! As my husband warned me before the wedding, it’s really important to differentiate between how wedding pictures look and how your wedding day will feel. Our wedding pictures look dreamy and beautiful, and for that I’m grateful. Our wedding ceremony, on the other hand, felt really gritty and raw. The ceremony felt intense, but not necessarily happy. And that was ok. There was plenty of time for joy at the party, and in the weeks of bliss to come.

So on the day itself, do everything you can to resist classifying your wedding day emotions as right or wrong. Maybe like me, your life will change hard and fast, in a moment of gritty intensity. Maybe you’ll ride a wave of joy, but just feel like you threw an awesome party, nothing life changing. Maybe you’ll so overwhelmed that you’ll weep for hours. Maybe it will be something totally different, and even more unexpected. Whatever you feel, let yourself feel it. It may not be at all what you expected, and that may be a blessing.

Your family is crazy, and that’s ok.

I know right? You’re sitting here reading this thinking, “My family isn’t crazy, my family is lovely! And besides, it’s my wedding day so they’ll be on their best behavior.” Well, sort of. Your family probably is lovely (mine is), but you know how everyone acts in high stress situations? You know how your mom freaks out on Christmas Day about having the table set just right, and you have the brother who’s super delightful but slightly socially awkward in large groups, and you have the two uncles that don’t really get along that well after the four whiskies they always insist on having? Yeah. That stuff is going to happen on your wedding day, because weddings are stressful. But here is the thing, it doesn’t have to matter.

Being a bride has certain perks, and one of those perks is being given a free pass to not give a sh*t. If your mom starts freaking out while you’re getting ready, have a sister or a best friend who’s tasked with pulling her aside and telling her to breathe. If your uncles start fighting with each other after their fourth glass of whisky, you have permission to just turn around and walk away.

You’re not going to be able to make everyone happy, and that’s fine. For ten hours of your life, your job is to protect your own experience. Your job is to refuse to get emotionally involved when people get stressed, and to just walk away and let it go. It’s tricky, but it only lasts for a few short hours. Tomorrow you can get totally pissed at your mom when she’s acting a fool, but for today, it’s not your problem.

What happens next is so much richer.

Because planning a wedding is a giddy mix of beautiful things, mixed with a serious dose of pain in the *ss, it’s easy to get focused on This One Day We Spent So Much Time And Money Planning. But that day is not the point. Your marriage is the point. So as your wedding day approaches, remember that this too shall pass. And what you’ll be left with is your marriage, which is infinitely more beautiful than the most stunning wedding dress in the world.

My wedding day? It was one of the great joys of my life. But the happiest day of my life? That was probably a lazy honeymoon day with my husband, drinking whiskey and looking at castles. Or maybe it was just any old lazy Sunday, reading the New York Times, lounging around the house… and oh yeah, not planning a wedding.

So congratulations. Not on this beautiful wedding you planned, but on making it to the other side. Welcome.

Photos by One Love Photo.

This article was originally posted onSnippet & Ink.

It has been announced the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton will take place on April 29th 2011.

The ceremony will be held – as many people expected – at Westminster Abbey in London.

It was also revealed that the special day will be a public holiday in the UK, which means two successive four-day weekends can be enjoyed by many employees across the country.

William and Kate – who met at the University of St Andrews in Scotland – are said to be in control of their own wedding planning and are making all the decisions about the event.

Jamie Lowther-Pinkerton, private secretary to the prince, said: "We know that the world will be watching on April 29th and the couple are very, very keen indeed that the spectacle should be a classic example of what Britain does best."

The cost of the ceremony will be covered by the Royal Family as well as Kate's parents, who became millionaires after setting up their own partyware business.

One of the first and most important things to book on your 'to do' list. Browse through thousands of wedding venues on hitched.co.uk today

This article was originally posted onHitched.

Couples are not spending as much on their wedding planning as they once did, it has been claimed.

According to Florida Today, the global economic downturn means many brides and grooms have to be a little thriftier with the way they spend their money.

As a result, they are picking smaller and more intimate wedding venues as well as cutting back on needless extras.

However, this is not deterring people and they are still as eager as ever to tie the knot, the publication continued.

Susan Coggins, president of the Brevard County Bridal Association and owner of Satellite Beach-based Wedding Belles, said: "We have found that guest lists are less and to do a wedding of about 100 people is average now as opposed to 150 to 300 or more."

Writing for Gazette Xtra yesterday (October 21st), recently married Gina Duwe explained although she misses the excitement of her big day, she is glad she does not have to worry about wedding planning any more.

Use the hitched.co.uk 'wedding planner' to organise yourself and keep up to date with your own plans and ideas.

This article was originally posted onHitched.

Couples tying the knot in Hong Kong can now choose McDonald's as a wedding venue.

From January 1st 2011, brides and grooms-to-be can say their vows among Big Macs and fries in a ceremony that is likely to cost a lot less than a traditional event.

According to the South China Morning Post, nuptials at the fast food chain, including food, gifts and a wedding cake, will amount to a few thousand Hong Kong dollars.

This is compared to a normal ceremony in the country which, on average, costs between HK$200,000 (£16,000) and HK$400,000.

Helen Cheung Yuen-ling, director of corporate communications and relations at McDonald's Hong Kong, said the organisation receives about ten calls a month from couples enquiring about weddings.

"People said they'd dated here, or met here and wanted to get married here … We see this as a business chance," she stated.

McDonald's is not the only restaurant of this kind to welcome newlyweds, as Paul and Caragh Brooks tied the knot at a Taco Bell in the US at the beginning of 2009.

To get your taste buds tingling, click through to see a range of beautiful and unusual wedding cakes.

This article was originally posted onHitched.

September nuptials have risen in popularity and increasing numbers of people are hiring a wedding venue during the month, it has been revealed.

Insurance firm Ecclesiastical claims Friday September 3rd to Sunday September 5th is the most popular weekend of the year to tie the knot.

A total of 2.5 per cent of all weddings being held in 2010 will take place this at this time.

The weekend beginning Friday September 12th is the second favourite among brides and grooms-to-be when doing their wedding planning.

Dave Simms, personal lines insurance manager at Ecclesiastical, said the reason people choose the beginning of September is obvious.

"The weather is still at its best for the photographs and videos, but hopefully not as unsettled as it can sometimes be in July and August these days," he explained.

In 2009, weekends in July were the most popular for saying "I do".

Earlier this year, the insurance provider reminded couples tying the knot abroad to ensure they have the correct type of cover for the event.

Wedding invitations are the first step towards filling your wedding with friends and family. Make sure you do it right by getting the wedding invitations right.

This article was originally posted onHitched.

Mr. Brooch and I only planned to have a one-year engagement. He proposed in October of 2009, and we thought we’d get married the following October. The problem was that right away, we were faced with a laundry list of tasks to execute to make our dream wedding come to life, and that meant we had a lot of decisions to make and a lot of money to spend.

We also had a lot of people to please. Our parents in particular needed to be pleased because we are their first children in our families to get married. Well, my dad and my stepmom in particular were both very—how shall I say?—hesitant to sign up for a one-year engagement. They kept asking, “What’s the rush?”

It was really important to me to have my parents fully on board. I didn’t want there to be any hesitation from anyone on my wedding day. It was a really tough thing, though, because Mr. Brooch and I wanted to be the ones to chose our wedding day (duh!) and do what’s best for us (he’s not a people pleaser like me). But in the end, I think it was more important for us to submit to our parents and give it a few more months.

I’m not going lie and say I’ve never felt sad thinking about how far off our wedding day was (like last spring, for instance, it was a total downer having been engaged six months and knowing there was another 12 months to go), but it’s par for the course. I think it’s a testament to the nature of the beast of weddings, isn’t it? We have to take into account other people and especially our families—whether that be by honoring traditions or submitting to their suggestions and wishes.

Would it have been easy for me to get upset that I wasn’t getting my way?

Definitely. But there’s a silver lining. A few, as a matter of fact, and today we’re actually glad we went with their advice because we’ve had more time to save and plan.

I also have no doubt that when our wedding day finally does roll around, we’re going to have that feeling like, “Wow! It’s finally here!” That’s going to be a wonderful thing!

It’s also kind of cool that our engagement was in the fall and our wedding will be in the spring! Every year when it starts to get cooler, we’ll be thinking back on the day Mr. Brooch proposed, and when it starts to get warmer, we’ll be thinking back on our wedding! Yay for celebrations of our relationship all year long!

Did I mention how much I love spring/garden details?

Check out some of this awesome spring inspiration:

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Here’s are some cool bits of advice from The Knot on picking a wedding date:

• consider marrying on the day your grandparents did (go with sentimental if you can)
• consider your wedding personality (for flip flops, pick summer; for cider, pick fall)

Here’s what Elizabeth Anne Designs has to say on the subject:

• be flexible and don’t pick a date until you have to
• give yourself a big window, such as two to three months
• consider the discounts that apply to weekday or Sunday weddings

Oh, I love this bit of advice:

• remember the one cardinal rule of wedding planning: you will never please everyone

Project Wedding says “Don’t get married on these days”:

• 9/11 and April Fool’s Day
• during big sporting events…hmm! Hadn’t thought of that!

How did you pick your wedding date? How long is your engagement?

This article was originally posted onWeddingbee.

We will have about 120 guests at our wedding. It’s not huge, but not tiny. For us, this is just the right size. We’ve been able to include all the people that we would love to have celebrate with us, and we can legitimately use the “we’re having a relatively small affair” excuse when people who THINK they should be invited aren’t on the short list. And by the way, if I haven’t seen or talked to you in four years… why would you think you would be invited to our wedding???!?? Facebook does not count. But I digress…

The hard part for me wasn’t the guest list so much as the bridal party. With only 120 guests, it’s just not feasible to have a ton of bridesmaids. And since we are minding the budget, limiting the number of bridesmaids just makes financial sense. More bridesmaids = more bouquets + bridal party gifts = more money. The hard part is that I have a lot of really close girlfriends, not to mention that I have been a bridesmaid six times myself. What is a girl to do???!?

Enter the House Party.

I think the concept of a house party may have begun in the South, but basically it’s a way to honor the women who WOULD have been bridesmaids if you were (a) having a larger affair or (b) weren’t concerned about budget so much. The house party does not stand up during the ceremony with the other bridesmaids or wear matching dresses (although I suppose they could wear something coordinating), but they are included in just about everything else and are listed in the wedding program. I also want the house party hanging out with me the day of the wedding when the getting ready stuff is happening. I can’t imagine NOT having these people behind the scenes, even though they aren’t officially bridesmaids. I’ve been in the house party for a friend and felt every bit as special as I would have if I had been a bridesmaid. And frankly, it’s a lot less work!

So, I’ve decided to have four bridemaids – Sister Hippo will be my MOH, and then three other bridesmaids. I have an additional five women that will be in the house party, bringing the total group to nine. I’m still tossing around the ideas in my head about how to handle the house party during the procession and where they should be seated (in a row of their own? with their spouses?) but I have plenty of time to figure it out.

Anyone else having a house party in addition to your bridesmaids?

This article was originally posted onWeddingbee.

I feel so special and loved and supported and excited and happy. This weekend I was showered.

Every bride needs a wedding bell and candle, right? Thanks Great Aunt Veggie.

**All photos in this post by my amazing FSIL, Jen, from Jen Lebo Photography.

My bridesmaids (Veggie Sisters Kale, Eggplant, Carrot), Momma Veggie, and little brother Bridesman Veggie threw me a fantastic bridal shower at the Veggie parents’ house in New Jersey.

We missed Veggie Sister Tomato, who couldn’t take time off of med school in Arizona to join us, but I got to see so many wonderful women that have been a part of my life throughout the years. Friends from elementary school, grad school, and even one from NZ managed to find their way to the party. And the Veggie ladies did not disappoint. They cooked the most amazing most drool-worthy food. They are clearly not doing their part to make sure I fit in my wedding dress in a few weeks. Veggie sisters, we have about 1/16 of an inch in wiggle room in that dress. If it doesn’t fit, I blame the stratta from the shower.

Momma Veggie’s cupcakes, which will also make an appearance at the wedding got rave reviews:

Unbeknownst to me (well, actually pretty knownst), the Veggie sisters interviewed Mr. Veggie via Skype and recorded it so we could play a “how well do you know your groom?” game. Veggie sister Kale read the questions and I tried my best to give answers that wouldn’t embarrass either of us too badly. I was doing well until they asked about our first kiss, which may or may not have been in the middle of a crowded party in a bit of a drunken stupor. Sorry mom! Veggie sister Eggplant played back Mr. Veggie’s responses to the joy of the crowd. They particularly enjoyed this response by Mr. Veg:

Veggie sister Kale: What is the first thing that Miss Veggie will want to do after the wedding?

Mr. Veggie: Blog about it.

You know it!

Then we played a game that was really all about embarrassing me… it was kind of a roast where guests wrote down their favorite Miss Veggie moment. Then they were read out loud and I had to guess who wrote them. I’m just thankful that my friends used good judgment and censored a bit.

After games it was time to get serious. There was a pile of treasure waiting with my name on it. I was a little nervous about this part of the party with some registration hesitations still lingering. All week I was practicing my “Gee thanks, this is so thoughtful of you, even though it weighs 50 pounds, is breakable and bulky, doesn’t work with NZ electrical outlets, and is a totally ridiculous item that we would never buy ourselves”-face. But I should have had more faith in our family and friends. They totally get us.

Veggie Sister Carrot diligently recorded names and gifts while I tore through handmade wrapping paper of one kind and another. Our guests were so thoughtful in their choices of wrapping, keeping in mind our desire for a low footprint wedding. We got gifts wrapped in magazine pages, new dishtowels, and recycled fabric. Most of the gifts really fell in-line with our lifestyle too, being light, non breakable, and recycled or eco in some way. And the best part was that we got a lot of donations for our non-profit and really generous contributions to a “travel home to visit” fund. I know I sound ridiculous and snobby right now, and should be thankful for any gifts that we received, and I totally am, but it really just felt nice that people understood us so well to pick gifts that worked for us. I did get three bars of nice soap. Is that a hint? Because I really tried to clean up nice and leave my dirty hippie-ness out on the porch for a day.

So, thanks Veggie Fam. You rock.

Momma Veggie, Veggie Sister Kale, Me, Veggie Sister Eggplant, and Veggie Sister Carrot.

Did anyone have any embarrassing moments at their bridal shower? Anyone else have any gift-induced nervousness? Did it turn out for the better or for the worse?

This article was originally posted onWeddingbee.

I’ve heard a lot of people say their wedding day was the best day of their life or that they expect it to be the best day of their life and I just can’t relate. I do not expect my wedding to be the best day of my life and, frankly, future me is going to be pretty disappointed if it is.

I love this guy, but marrying him better not be the high point of our lives:

Don’t get me wrong, I am so excited for our wedding and I know it will be a very special day. It might even be the best party I ever attend, simply because I’m going to be surrounded by all my favourite people (and a couple strangers!). However, despite how excited I am and how much effort I’m putting into the wedding I really don’t want it to be the best day of my life.

I sincerely hope that one day Mr. Knitting and I will have professional successes that make me even happier and more proud of myself and my husband than our wedding day. I firmly believe that we will have happier moments with our future children and I suspect that becoming parents may in fact be one of the best days of our lives. Who knows, it might even be a completely random day that ends up being the best day of my life.

Basically it comes down to the fact that while I expect my marriage to be an integral and very precious part of my life, I do not expect or want my wedding day to be the best day of my life. It will be a day, it will be amazing, it won’t be the best.

Where do you stand on this?

This article was originally posted onWeddingbee.