When I last left you, we had just completed our marathon day of registering. As we got into the car to head home, I became overwhelmed with feelings of guilt. Registry guilt. Catholic, Italian, registry guilt (I hear it’s the worst kind). 
I couldn’t help but think about the moment that our guests first looked at our registry…
“What are they thinking registering for $400 pots!?!”
“A 300 dollar mixer, are you kidding me!?”
“What do they need all these extra pillowcases for!?”
I. Felt. Horrible.
Mr. Burger tried to calm me down, and when that wasn’t working I called Cheeseburger Mom. At first, she didn’t quite know what to say, but eventually she assured me that people would just not buy us things that they couldn’t afford – no big deal.
While I had known that all along, and also that a registry is “just a wish list,” I guess the honest truth is that in the past I have been the one saying “a 300 dollar mixer, are you kidding me!?!” when looking at other peoples’ registries.
There. I said it. I am guilty of passing registry judgment (don’t worry, I will never do it again after this experience). And I think that that is where a lot of my guilt/anxiety/fear was stemming from.
I took a deep breath and started to think when I got home. I identified the specific items that were causing the most anxiety – the Calphalon pots, the Kitchen Aid mixer, the comforter, the sheets, the other random kitchen appliances we had been talked into.
I started researching (have you noticed I do that a lot?). WHY were these Calphalon pots so expensive!? Ah ha! Lifetime warranty. The tier below, Simply Calphalon, has a 10 year warranty, which is still pretty good for pots that will get a lot of use, but for just a little bit more money, it made sense to stick with the lifetime upgrade. I did, however, ditch the $400 10 piece set, because I really didn’t think anyone would get it for us. I ended up registering for individual pieces, which also gave me the freedom to mix and match non-stick with stainless steel. If we end up getting the components of a 10 piece set, we can always exchange the pieces for it later.
The Kitchen Aid mixer. Oh how I love and covet thee. You and your 20 different colors and your instant reminders of my grandmother’s kitchen. You are perfect. And expensive. And you apparently break a lot, according to online reviews! The Kitchen Aid mixer has only a one year warranty and a decent, but middle-of-the-road motor (325 watt). When I saw this, my heart sank. But only momentarily until I found its Cuisinart counterpart! The Cuisinart SM-55 Stand Mixer has a three year warranty, a bigger mixing bowl, and more than twice the mixing power (an 800 watt motor). When I found it, I figured that if someone did decide to drop $300 on a stand mixer for us, at least they would be getting us a sturdy (though admittedly much less pretty) model. Now, I know A LOT of you out there most likely have or are registered for a Kitchen Aid, and I bet it works amazingly. I know that my grandmother had hers for years without any problems! But when you read the online reviews, it paints a dismal picture, unfortunately. I am still jealous of you, and I still wish the Cuisinart on our registry was prettier.
I was starting to feel better after these minor adjustments (slash mental justifications). As far as the sheets and comforter go, though I did consider removing them, I eventually compromised. I left them on the Macy’s registry, and then added a less expensive set to our final registry at Target (as Cheeseburger Mom says, you never can have too many sheet sets!).
Speaking of Target, this was probably the most fun that I had setting up a registry. I did this one without Burger (he had had enough), and it was nice to add things that I knew were more affordable (though less necessary). I registered us for lots of board games, tray tables, lamps, decorative pillows, and a dust buster. There are two splurges on that registry: a tailgate grill and a Flip HD camcorder, should someone decide to get us a more manly gift .
All in all, I have recovered from my registering experience. I still occasionally tweak our registries (mostly by deleting things), but I am much more at peace with the whole thing. Our friends and family know us, and know that we do not, under any circumstances, expect expensive gifts. We do still have a few pricier options on the lists should people decide to do a group gift, or for us to buy on our own later with a bunch of gift cards.
My recommendation to other brides out there is to relax about the whole experience, but still keep your guests in the back of your mind. It does help every once in awhile when someone is trying to talk you into registering for a $250 toaster oven you’ll never use .
Did anyone else have a breakdown after registering?
This article was originally posted onWeddingbee.
